Patron Saint of Falling Over Things

I have tried to make this entry so many times since the Yuletide archive opened. Working retail at Christmas is a big old bummer. Be nice to your retail workers; they are stressed and tired from dealing with assholes. (Don't be an asshole in shops. It's a good life lesson and nobody will spit in your coffee.)

For Yuletide I got five lovely stories: two in the main collection and three in Madness. They were all for two of my micro-fandoms, which is always fun, because there are so many ways to interpret tiny fandoms, and people went in really interesting directions with both. It was a great Yuletide!!

For the music video for Dua Lipa's song New Rules (Here: New Rules // Dua Lipa) I got so many magic flamingo women living empowered lives. (This is an excellent thing.)

Time-slippy and weird, slightly too creepy to be comfortable but very welcoming, the Confidante is a hotel where women look after other women while effortlessly standing on one leg. It's amazing.
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Welcome to the Confidante (1653 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: New Rules - Dua Lipa (Music Video)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Additional Tags: Post-Break Up, Time Slide
Summary:

Leila knows she needs to end things with her boyfriend, but she doesn't have any success until she wanders in to the Confidante

Where do you go, when you're Dracula's wives and you want to feel safe? You go where the flamingos are.
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Bat Wings (117 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: New Rules - Dua Lipa (Music Video)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Women (New Rules)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Sisterhood, Protectiveness, Routine, Yuletide Madness 2017, Yuletide Treat, Drabble, Rebellion
Summary:

They know he can't follow.

Magical girls, crisply defined roles within the group, and a glazier on call. SO EXCELLENT. The tags are very fitting and correct.
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Your Life Now (391 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: New Rules - Dua Lipa (Music Video)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Original Characters
Additional Tags: Flamingos, OMG flamingos!, Magical Girls, I might have been watching too much Sailor Moon, Henshin yo!, Abusive Relationships, did I mention flamingos?
Summary:

Saved by the magical girls.

And in a 180 degree mood swing, I got two fics for Beautiful Losers II, the painting by Vettriano (which you can see here: Beautiful Losers II) It's a dark, fraught kind of image that lends itself to all kinds of kinks, and I love where these two fics went.

The amount of political menace that seeped into this fic is astonishing. I was amazed at the world building and the tension between the three characters.
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The Minister and the Minister's Wife (1160 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Beautiful Losers II - Jack Vettriano
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Characters: Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s)
Additional Tags: Complicated Relationships, Manipulation, Threesome - F/M/M
Summary:

It suited Lin well, to spend his days and his nights with the Minister and the Minister’s wife.

A tiny little jewel of a thing that has the kind of desperate feeling of someone who knows they're slipping into a ravine but somehow can't make themselves reach for help.
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a sip of wine, a cigarette (1042 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Beautiful Losers II - Jack Vettriano, Original Work
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Additional Tags: Inspired by Art
Summary:

Maybe it's love, maybe it's something else. Almost certainly I should have made up my mind which a long time ago.

I loved my Yuletide gifts this year - thank you so much, Yule-people, if you happen to come across this entry. It was a great exchange, and I feel very lucky.